Growing Older
July 1, 2024
I am now 57 years old. I told someone I was 58 this week but I am 57. I ultimately checked on https://www.datetime.io/ and even found out that I was born on a Monday. My mother delivered me at 8:12am on that day via C-Section. I can see her in her hyper organized way, going into the hospital on a Sunday eve and right after 8:00am on a Monday morning, I was born. Yup. Organized.
Yet, life is bumpy and not so organized. It’s full of twists and turns and bumps and bruises and plane delays and canceled contracts and illness and and and and. (My mother also said getting old was not for sissies and she was right.)
Amid all these ups and downs of aging, I hope I am eldering with grace. I have aspired for many years to be a Crone. Not the patriarchal version of a crone, being as one definition states, ‘a disagreeable women,’ but croning, as Wikipedia states in a more feminist way, ‘into an era of wisdom, freedom, and personal power.’ Now that’s an era of life I welcome! Come on in! Organized and powerful. Yes, please.
Recently, in my quest be more grounded in this topsy turvy world, I purchased a deck of Mindful Affirmations cards. On my desk, I have one card up this week. “I welcome the wisdom that comes from growing older.”
Wikipedia states, “Wisdom is the ability to contemplate and act productively using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense, and insight. Wisdom is associated with attributes such as unbiased judgment, compassion, experiential self-knowledge, self-transcendence, and non-attachment, and virtues such as ethics and benevolence.”
Boy, oh boy, growing older with a tender, sometimes achy lower back but wiser with more compassion? Yes, please. Growing older with a bit of sag on my upper arm yet wiser and with more benevolence? Yes again – with enthusiasm!
Reminds me of what Anne Lamott wrote on X, “Note to self; when best friend was dying, I asked if this tight dress made me look fat. She said, “Annie, you don’t have that kind of time.”
Now that’s wisdom right there.
As I stretch at my edges and grow (up) and hopefully wise as well, I need to ask myself more often:
- Is my comment the wisest choice of what to say at this time or do I just want to look smart and hear my own voice?
- Is my behavior in this interaction in alignment with my core values?
- Am I affecting others in the way that I hope to be? Are my words and actions in congruence with my wish to be humane and growth producing in the world?
- Am I managing my emotional wake in this moment and not emotionally polluting the experience?
- Am I responding out of fear or out of calm and groundedness?
- Is this the way I want to be remembered? Is how I am behaving having a positive impact on others?
Growing older has its challenges. And growing older doesn’t mean one is growing wiser, more mature and more psychologically, emotionally or spiritually developed. I am working hard to grow older and wiser. Not easy but so critical especially at this time in the world. Here’s to wise eldering….
If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions or need a safe space for talking something through, please feel free to email me at jennifer@jenniferabrams.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
Cool Resources
Here are a few books that I am working through this month.
