Here’s a Hug
February 2, 2026
I’m breathing deeply. The world is topsy turvy and challenging us in historic ways at this time. It’s pushing us up against some really difficult realities. No matter where we are in the world, we are watching people do really unconscionable things. Hurting others literally, emotionally, and worse. And yet, we are also watching deep courage and conviction by ordinary folks taking extraordinary action. Standing up for what’s right. Getting into good trouble. Alongside my overwhelm and anger, I feel inspired, encouraged, and buoyed by citizens caring for others.
With this context as a backdrop, educators have now been back at school for a month – either starting their new school years in the Southern hemisphere, or coming back to their second semester in the North. Many educators are feeling discombobulated and nervous. Tariffs are impacting their host country. Immigration raids are in the news or actually happening in their cities. They are working in regions that are seeing unrest that they fear will erupt and impact them even more. And, they are trying to support the growth and wellbeing of students in the midst of it all.
And here comes a consultant….to do a workshop.
I spent three weeks of the past month of January in Asia – working in Tokyo, Beijing, and Taipei – and I also worked in person and on Zoom in the USA.
Everywhere I facilitated there was a bit of suspicion. Wariness. The term ‘reflexively defensive’ comes to mind. The concern is totally understandable. And something to name and question with curiosity.
In the HBR article, Leaders Bring Your Best Self Into the New Year, a question is posed for when one might be feeling a bit cautious about a request coming toward you. “What part of me am I protecting at this moment?” If you are reactive or jumpy about a new piece of learning or an upcoming discussion, ask yourself, “What’s up?” Are you fearing a loss of control, a fear of disappointing others with your responses, a loss of status as you see what you might need to learn, a discovery that you were wrong and need to change? Where is my cautiousness coming from?
What I was sensing from the silences in the rooms or from the lack of responses in whole group discussion or from the side glances I saw others give to one another, was a concern that I was there to tell others that they needed fixing. And I was here to do it.
Instead I said over and over, “No one is broken. You are fine. And the question I am always asking myself and others is how might we be even better than we have been (in collaboration, in teaching, in (fill in the blank).”
I say ‘even better’ as those words presuppose that others are doing their best and they want to grow. No one is at fault nor are you deeply flawed. AND, I say with a smile, “We all can get a bit better.” Shoulders fall. Eye contact increases. Smiles might be slight, but they’re there.
We are all are doing hard things in a hard moment. I hug you from afar. I say at the end of many of my workshops, “I will hug you on the way out if you are a hugger and if not, that’s okay – I hug you from afar.” I am with you on the journey of growth.
Ask yourself:
- When you feel tense, guarded, or “reflexively defensive,” what part of you might you be trying to protect and what would help you lower your shoulders and bring different version of yourself to work?
- What reaction— defensiveness, silence, eye-rolling, shutting down — do you need to take responsibility for this month?
- If you truly believed, “No one is broken — we’re all doing our best,” how might that how can you make that belief visible in the way you give feedback or ask for it?
- Where do you most want to get “a bit better” — in collaboration, teaching, or your own wellbeing — and what small next step feels doable?
- Who do you think needs a hug at this time and can you ask if that is something you can offer to them?
I was feeling like I needed a hug on my way to a session this month but I was solo in an Uber, so I asked ChatGPT for a ‘pep talk’ and given what they knew about me what would they say. It was written hug I needed. Hugs to you as you move into 2026.
Questions, comments, or suggestions? Feel free to email me at jennifer@jenniferabrams.com.
Cool Resources
- Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement has a Residential Program for undergrads at Northwestern in Enlightened Disagreement. “In 2025-26, the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement and Division of Student Affairs are partnering on a pilot program to introduce undergraduate students to the Litowitz Center’s mission of harnessing the power of disagreement for good. This strategic partnership will help students engage effectively with classmates who are coming to Northwestern from varied backgrounds. Offering such programming in the residence halls—where students put their learnings into practice—will have a profound impact on their social lives and relationship-building skills.”
- The University of Edinburgh has a website that supports educators to better at self-reflection. “Reflection is more than looking back – it’s a core skill for success. It helps you learn from experience, grow personally and professionally, and recognize, evaluate, and articulate the other skills you are developing. Reflection therefore has a vital role in the design and delivery of effective teaching and learning.”
- Better Allies focuses on everyday actions for better workplaces. The author, Karin Catlin, has a weekly newsletter to which you can subscribe, and I just found this resource, 50 Potential Privileges in the Workplace.
