Being Responsible for Your Energy
October 1, 2024
This past month I was at home doing things I don’t necessarily enjoy. Teeth cleaning, eye exam, skin check. New mattress delivery. Discussion with webmaster and publisher about the financial and technical parts of my work. Going to the gym three times week. Drinking my green juice. Bleh.
Working on the practical sides of my life isn’t where my ‘bliss’ is found. I am someone that can live in my head quite easily – thinking about ideas and aspirations. Contemplating, marinating, percolating. This propensity to live in my head doesn’t mean I don’t get things done because if I didn’t write and present, I obviously wouldn’t have a consultancy!
I need to create and to send. I need to influence and to persuade. I need to relate and to connect. The practical, important and foundational to my success tasks, are for me, uninteresting.
Yet, I can’t procrastinate. Enough already. Get it done.
And I am grateful that this type of ‘stuff’ doesn’t carry too much emotional weight. I don’t get triggered because these appointments are ‘against’ my value set, or because these purchases or creations are those I disagree with it morally. None of this practical stuff makes me super anxious because my identity feels threatened. No, that type of work is even harder to do. The work where I need to hold boundaries, express concerns, speak up – when that kind of work crops up, I really need to hold on to center.
These emotionally challenging moments are so much harder. They require a psychological maturity, and an ability to manage discomfort and uncertainty. And not managing oneself and one’s emotional hygiene is so important because there is a bunch of work for us all that requires this skill. Self-regulation.
Adding ’emotional pollution’ to a situation and adding ‘dust’ to the moment doesn’t help in these instances. It isn’t that I can’t rant to my besties once and a while, but after a point it’s unhelpful to the friendship or the task at hand.
What I need to do is work on myself to manage these types of moments in a healthier way for everyone. Indiana University Health Center has a sign as you come in. “Please take responsibility for the energy that you bring into this space.”
It is true that in our lives we must get both deal with the practical challenges AND we must manage ourselves in chaotic and high anxiety situations often beyond our control. The situations in which we are challenged, feel threatened, diminished and afraid.
We need to ask ourselves in those moments of both ‘meh’ tasks (which still do need to get done) and in the ones that cause emotional turbulence some questions:
- What can I tell myself in order to shift my mindset during these types of moments?
- What methods can I use to regain my perspective and balance myself?
- Do I generally radiate negativity or positivity in these situations?
- What can I do in the moments, where my energy is negative, to shift it for myself and for others?
- In moments of discomfort, what can I do to continue to be with others in a psychologically mature way? What can I do to be less reactive and keep myself centered?
- What do I need to do to accept and manage myself when uncomfortable emotions crop up?
For your own and the health of others, we need to learn to manage our energy and learn how to get things completed and to recover more quickly.
We can be authentic and real while recognizing the importance of building resolve, strength, and stamina to manage both the boring ‘must dos’ and the volatile moments that come with living. Have you scheduled your annual check up? Join me.
If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions or need a safe space for talking something through, please feel free to email me at jennifer@jenniferabrams.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
Cool Resources
Here are two resources that have helped me soothe my nervous system and get some much needed sleep.
Insight Timer – I very much like listening to “Insomnia Aid” with Andrea Wachter
Calm – I also like listening to “Softly Back to Sleep” with Jerome Flynn
