I Choose Less

January 3, 2023

January – the time for resolutions, a month of not drinking, a reboot of all the good things that one should be doing more of. I should (notice the ‘should’) drink more water daily, work out more often, etc… Nothing wrong with either of those goals except the way I feel when I hear myself say them.

“I should…”

Should should should. It feels icky. It feels constricting. It feels small.

How about saying “I choose to” instead of “I should”? Getting warmer. Feels like I have a bit more control of my actions with the word choice. Feels less onerous and more self-authoring. Better.

And now what of the ‘more of’ idea – the additions to my life? Again, not feeling it. I have spent afternoons this past month getting rid of things – simplifying – and feeling freer as a result. That is a feeling that works for me. So let’s mix those two together and see what can happen.

So, what do I choose less of as I move into 2023?

  • Comparing myself to others. No point. I need to run my own race. Do me and do me well.
  • Getting frustrated when I don’t get an email reply in what I think is a timely manner. The non-reply isn’t personal and it actually might be a blessing.
  • Becoming immediately defensive when I hear feedback that I find painful. I need to suspend my certainty that the other person is wrong. They could have something to say that is super helpful if I can get past my egoic reflex.
  • Being ‘judgy.’ About life choices. About lots of things. There are 8 billion on the earth at this point in time. Not everyone is going to do life like me and they don’t need to. In fact, they might be doing it in a way that is better or easier or more fun. If they aren’t hurting others in big ways, by being racist, sexist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, Islamophobic etc., let that judgement go. There are so many ways to do life.

These four choices are stretch edges for me. None require me purchasing anything. None require any external changes to my life. None require anyone else around me to change. They are all an inside job. Ain’t that the truth about so much of life? Individual internal changes make a difference.

If you want more (and believe me, there have been years when I want more of things…no judgement there), go for it. Set those goals. For me this is a year of less. May 2023 be year of whatever you choose. Cheers.

If you have any questions, comments or topic suggestions, please feel free to email me at jennifer@jenniferabrams.com. I look forward to hearing from you.

Cool Resources

This is a pic of some of the books I will be dipping into and digging into this January.