July 5, 2017
Happy July. The sun is out. Summer is in full swing. Sunsets and strawberries. Can anything be wrong? And who am I to feel sad when things are supposed to going so well! Before I write anything else, I am fine. My family is healthy. So all is good. But even with that awareness, I have been feeling sad. Endings of relationships, politics in the USA, being in the business of conflict resolution and hearing about so much that is challenging to so many across the districts and schools I work with. It requires me to be in tiptop emotional shape. And sometimes deep sorrow shows up – even in the middle of summer break. Ugh.
I notice when I am disorganized, as I am often obsessively on top of things, that something is amiss. I need to stop and have a good cry. It feels weird to thread the needle – didn’t pay a bill – so something must need to be addressed in my emotional life – but yet there it is. When things are wobbly, I have a tendency to sheer up my footing – get super on top of things – stay in control. But what has caused me to be a little imbalanced is right there under the surface and it will demand my attention at some point. I have to deal. Curling up in a fetal position for extended periods of time isn’t an option. Adulting is hard.
An article in Psychology Today about breakup grief (even if you aren’t in that relationship space, the general ideas are worthwhile) suggests we need to not just ‘get a grip’ but actually ‘acknowledge that there was a loss and feel emotional pain about that loss’ if we are going to be able to integrate that experience into our lives and move forward.
So for anyone who was released from a job or been in a bit of PTSD from being in some (or a lot of) challenging experiences this past school year and all of a sudden in the midst of your summer break actually feel sorrow and are finding it a bit incongruent with the wonderful weather, practice a little self-compassion. Give yourself some loving attention. You aren’t weird. Summer can bring up some uncomfortable feelings. You finally have time to feel and you need to feel to move forward. Sending hugs and some solace from Julian of Norwich. “All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of things shall be well.” Here’s to well-being – after a good cry, that is.
If you have any questions, comments or topic suggestions, please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I look forward to hearing from you!
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Shattered: Inside Hillary Clinton’s Doomed Campaign
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Why You Should Take Time for Self-Reflection (Even If You Hate Doing It) by Jennifer Porter. “The hardest leaders to coach are those who won’t reflect — particularly leaders who won’t reflect on themselves.”
About Jennifer Abrams
Jennifer Abrams considers herself a "voice coach," helping others learn how to best use their voices – be it collaborating on a team, presenting in front of an audience, coaching a colleague and supervising an employee. Jennifer holds a Master's degree in Education from Stanford University and a Bachelor's degree in English from Tufts University. She lives in Palo Alto, California. Jennifer's publications include Having Hard Conversations, The Multigenerational Workplace: Communicating, Collaborating & Creating Community and Hard Conversations Unpacked – the Whos, the Whens and the What Ifs. She has also created a Corwin Press e-course by the same name.
Work with Jennifer
Praise for Jennifer
“Jennifer was one of the most engaging and dynamic speakers our conference has had, according to the attendees themselves. She received so many positive comments and her expertise is so well articulated and relevant, that we have subsequently invited her back to present and will continue to look for other ways to involve her. When other speakers are referencing her talk and content, the positive impression and impact she’s made is clear.”